This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Two words: blizzard sex
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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