I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
