Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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