I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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