She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dick very happy bro
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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