I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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