so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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