And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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