My first STD was from a foam party
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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