Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
