During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
