Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
