I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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