I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize