Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
