he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
