Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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