just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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