it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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