spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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