I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
