you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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