I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
