Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
