oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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