I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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