and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
