I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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