We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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