Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
