I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
