Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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