I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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