He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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