I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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