Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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