Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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