hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
