How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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