my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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