I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
