Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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