Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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