i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
