More tranny stories later!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
