Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
