Having a random hookup so left but love u
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
