dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
