He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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