Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
