My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
please don't ironically join a cult
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