I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
