I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
