On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
