you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
