Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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