should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
