dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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